give me a second, I need to get my story straight
by toshiiilove
Summary: The morning after, Alison drives them to school and consults Emily in keeping their story 'straight'. It doesn't turn out the way she intends to. Implied sex. Character bashing. Snarky comments. Emison. Fluff. Crack.


"We need to get our story _straight_," said the driver behind the cruising black beamer, channeling textbook seriousness of some commanding General she'd no doubt learn about in History class later today.

She looked over to her companion in the passenger seat, who looked like she was about to suffocate if she didn't release the laugh she'd been holding in. Alison rolled her eyes, "Oh-ha-ha, I get it, _straight_. Very funny, Emily, sorry but at this moment we cannot get our story _gay_ and fabulous, especially with loser Mona creeping in dark places just waiting to expose me for whatever the world doesn't know about me already," She shoved her friend...well, not exactly friend now.

Friends with benefits? Nope, that's not it either. Not lover, because Alison thought that title was reserved for sappy romance novels and sordid grown ups, so Emily was Emily, therefore not under any of those categories. So, she just shoved Emily playfully on the leg and left her hand on the other girl's leg for encouragement.

"No, no I was listening. You said we had to keep our story – _straight_, haa—" the hint of a laugh was shot down with a death glare from Ali, "Haaa-chooo, excuse me." Emily sneezed instead.

"Can we focus please? And bless you," Alison said begrudgingly before continuing, "Starting with what time we went to bed last night and what we _did not_ do after that." She said resolutely, "Followed by when we woke up this morning, what _did not_ happen in the showers and what didn't happen after that. If we just stopped thinking about it, except the part where someone ruined my favorite bathrobe," She cleared her throat at the last part, when she was greeted with muffed giggling that was when her palms began to sweat a little.

"But I made it up to you, _twice_! And you said I was forgiven the second time when you—" protested the brunette, who was promptly stopped when Alison squeezed Emily's leg.

"Focus!" she instructed as their previous escapades in the shower flashed before her mind, "Sorry, I was calming myself."

She was so off her _A_ game with this lying thing after fooling around. It was just a whole new depth of lying she wasn't exactly accustomed to. Sure, she was used to lying about 'doing it' with college guys when she wasn't sexually active and it was easy for people to want to believe everybody else was the slut and point the finger. However, the other way around was tricky because first they should not act like anything had happened in the first place.

"We can't act like anything had happened," Emily blurted out the first helpful statement of the day.

"That's right, nothing happened. We'll just have to act like our old selves." Alison agreed.

"Right! So, if Spencer, Aria and Hanna asks about what we did the night before, we're going to say?"

"And our old selves would..." Alison snapped her fingers, "Em, c'mon, we always do something when we're alone together—that's not related to, _that_. Like before I came back from the dead," She thought back to the various flashback moments that they're alone together…"Let's see, we've talked about whom we wanted to take to the kissing rock…I teased you a lot about who you'd wanted to take, and whom you thought was the prettiest out of the group. I still can't believe you said Spencer out of all people back then!" She shuddered with disapproval.

"Hey! Spencer's our friend alright, and you have to admit, she's attractive!"

Alison almost gagged at the confession. "If you find that preying mantis attractive, next you're going to tell me Jenna would look hot if you put a bag over her head to block those creepy shades, but then again you I can't believe you dated Pigskin so seriously you practically have like the worst taste in women _ever_...oh wait…damn it, I can't even judge you for that now can I? I should've never have taken you back..."

"Oh shut up Ali, you knew I wanted to take you all along, me saying it aloud wouldn't give you more satisfaction than you already had."

"And how do you know that for sure?"

"Gee, Alison Dilaurentis, would you accompany me to the kissing rock?"

"Like a freshman? Ew, gross. We'll just go to Paris for our entire gap year."

"Really? You'll take me to Paris?"

"Only if you stop dating anyone lower than an Alison Dilaurentis,"

"Jesus, sometimes I wonder if I was seriously cursed to like women."

Ali rolled her eyes, but was satisfied nonetheless, "Let's see, what else. I gave you a bracelet and my grandmother's most prized snow-globe, I wrote a story about you being the mermaid, we painted each other's nails and braided each other's hair—slept over at each other's houses, in each other's beds, we made out every time no one was watching... I was excessively protective of you when I thought you lost your virginity to Ben, and almost helped you break up with him…I really should've. Oh, and who could forget, _Paris_…" Alison sighed softly, reliving those memories until she was rudely interrupted by Emily.

"…none of that sounds remotely ingenuous or straight by the way," Emily shot Ali a knowing grin, the blonde was there too for all of the tension that built up between them in every one of those scenes.

"Well, Emily Fields, what do you want me to say? This is literally how we've interacted for like...the past twelve years we've known each other. Shall I recount the time when we're five, the first time we met, some stupid boy was bullying you and I set his pants on fire with Jason's lighter and framed him for it?"

"You just did..." replied Emily, why hadn't she known Alison was criminally inclined even at five years old?

"You know, the more I think about it, the more I think you had me from day one..." Alison concluded much to Emily's delight. "I was at least willing to use boys for personal gains before I met you!"

"Wow, Ali, I don't know what to say. I guess long suffering mankind should thank me? I mean without me sacrificing moi, you'd be wrecking all kinds of havoc in the moral fabric of our society, you could be in prison right now." Emily said proudly, which caused Alison to roll her eyes again. "Or I could be in Casino Royale, beating up James Bond."

"Ali, you do know he's actually fictional right?"

"Whatever Emily—but you know, we could just shut up about this, it's not like Aria, Hanna, and Spencer would think about anything other than Ezra, Caleb and Toby, respectively."

"You do have a point there, Ali."

"It's settled then. We'll just act like our normal selves, you gay, me emotionally vacant and possibly psychopathic, and be viewed as best bosom buddies since age five, deal?" Alison held up her pinky as she parked them half a block away from the school's entrance.

Emily grinned and hooked her pinky with Ali's. "Deal!"

The first bell rang. The pair collected their bags and quickly got out of the car. "Oh, Em I need you to clear up one last thing before we go in,"

"Shoot,"

"You weren't serious about Spencer right? _Because_," Jealousy flared in Alison's eyes as she alluded to 'or else'.

Emily chuckled and draped her arm over Alison's shoulder, "Nope. I don't go around chasing straight girls, never have and never will. Fact."

Alison eyed her funny, "If you are implying what I think you are right now, you can dream on Fields. You're the only girl I'd ever be with, so, that doesn't make me anything but the hottest girlfriend you'll ever have. Now walk me to first period before I change my mind about that,"

"Whatever you say Ali, whatever you say."

* * *

[Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars.]

[A/N: This is what happened when I hear too many sad spoilers about EMISON, instead of doing my 'serious' therefore 'angsty' fic this came out as a result. I think this pairing seriously need some happy sunshine days where they could just be themselves and totally silly. Maybe I'll even attempt at happy fics, because these are few and in-between. ]


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